fear of failure

Eleanor Roosevelt said “You gain strength, courage and
confidence by every experience in which you really stop
to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself,
‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next
thing that comes along.’You must do the thing you
think you cannot do.”

What is fear? The dictionary describes fear as a distressing
emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., It’s also
describes as concern or anxiety; and to regard with fear; to
be afraid of. As you’ve noticed there’s nothing positive
associated with the word fear. It primarily seems to be tied in
with the negative.

What if I were to tell you fear could be a beneficial thing. It
is after all a biologically inherent aptitude that keeps us from
doing idiotic things that could cause our death. For instance,
fear originates with a certain apprehension when we see a
sliding snake or a scorpion, or we are standing looking over
the edge of a tall building.

Regrettably, fear isn’t always well-founded and not always
healthy. Hence, our heart thumps when we’re on a plane but
not when we’re driving in a car, even though statistics have
proven we have a much greater chance of dying while behind
the wheel of an automobile. And although fear acts as a
catalyst which prevent us from physical pain and death, it can
also withhold from us the opportunity of experiencing the pain
of a bruised ego or the thrill of victory and success.

Fear is illogical. No one will ever be completely logical in
all of their choices and behavior patterns. But every man
ought to endeavor to live with sense and logic as his
guide. Fear is basically a primal instinct. It’s not an activity
of the more distinguished intellectual faculties associated
within our psyche. When we “think through” our fears with
logic, we oftentimes discover that they have no substantial
valid foundation.

Very often we try to justify our fears in ways that comfort
our ego. We tend to say we’re being wise or careful. We say
that we haven’t done it merely because it’s not significant to
us. We say that we’re merely a bit nervous about attempting it.
If you want to start overcoming your fears, take a long hard look
at yourself. What are the real reasons you live in fear and
procrastinate constantly? Don’t tell me, “I don’t want to do this
because I’m nervous,” See the main reason behind your choices.
If you can’t see it then let me spell it out for you. You’re not
doing it because you’re a coward.”

Now I don’t say this to be harsh or mean spirited; I say this
because this is one of the ways I actually find quite helpful to
me when framing my internal debates. No one wants to be a
coward? As individuals we aspire to be daring and brave.
Fear equals cowardice, cowardice equals inaction. Its as
simple as that. I like to call it like it is. Most people don’t
do anything with their lives for the most part because
they’re cowards.

Virgil Thomson said “Try a thing you haven’t done three
times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to
learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether
you like it or not.” Its time to step up to the plate and
be courageous.

“But how do I do that”? I hear you asking with concern. Kill the
fear with logic. Think. Don’t allow the irrational thoughts that
accompany fear to overpower you. As I mentioned above, fear
isn’t a rational thing. Therefore a great method to overcoming
fear is to obliterate it with logic. One of the most effective ways
to do this is to ask yourself this question: “If I choose to do this,
what is the worst possible outcome?”

What’s the worst that could happen if you asked someone out
who you have been longing to ask out for months, maybe years,
and they said no? You didn’t have a date with them before you
asked and you don’t have a date now. This is not the end of
your life.

What’s the worst that could happen if you applied for a job
you’ve always wanted to do and don’t get it? You didn’t have
the job before, you don’t have the job now. This is not the end
of the world.

What’s the worst that can take place if I give a lecture at a
conference and flunk? No one will ever tell you, and you will
never know you were bad.

I could carry on and on, but it is not necessary because I know
that you are getting it. In most cases, the most unwanted thing
that can take place may be for the short term, unpleasant, but is
definitely workable and not a danger to your life in any way. You
need to step up to the plate and be courageous.Take life by the
horns and demand that it gives you what is rightfully yours.

Fear Will Rob You Just Like A Thief Would

Fear robs you of your integrity. Integrity means acting in a way
completely compatible with your beliefs and your values. But when
you want to do something and you believe it’s the right thing to
do, but you let fear stop you, you violate your core values.
Living true to your beliefs will always comprise a wholesome
method of rising above your fears.

Fear removes you from the driver’s seat. You are in charge of
your own destiny. You make the decisions and choose the roads
that lead you to your goals. If you are ruled by fear you abdicate
your leadership to your fear. You give your fear the power to
steer your life. Who is in charge of your life, you or your fears?

Fear creates regrets. Don’t waste your time dwelling on the past.
You should learn from your mistakes, and move on with your life .
Don’t allow fear to keep you from taking advantage of opportunities
that present themselves to you. Because if you do, sooner or later
you will look back,resent yourself, and wonder why you let fear take
over your life and prevent you from getting what you really wanted.
Fear impedes your personal growth. As a human being you should
always endeavor to improve yourself.

How to Overcome Fear

You need not live your life captive to your fears and weaknesses.
You can, through the power of your will, conquer your fears.

Choose a fear you’ve carried for some time now. Something you
need to do, or something you would like to do, but you’ve been
continually postponing. We believe we remain secure by playing it
safe, but our ingrained fears sit as if they were a weight upon our
shoulders. They are your constant companions. The fearless part
of you is constantly whispering in your ear to take action. But
you keep ignoring the call. The burden of your undefeated fears
builds up slowly, almost unnoticed, undermining your life more and
more every day, slowing your progression and keeping your mind in
a state of confusion.

You need to change your views about fear. Shed the light of
understanding on fear and it dissipates. You also need to change
your views on risks. Don’t let your fear of failure stop you from
becoming a better you. You don’t want to look back years later
at your life and be overcome with pain and regrets. When you are
fearful repeat to yourself Katherine Paterson’s wise words:

“To fear is one thing. To let fear grab you by the tail and swing
you around is another.”

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